RENDITION OVER AT BATTLE CREEK

My Uncle Helmer is sometimes perceived as kind of a conservative Dakota farm boy. Actually he was considered by the townsfolk as quite a progressive liberal sort of guy! In the classic definition that is.

Today if you're liberal you pride yourself in wanting more government stuff paid for by someone more willing or able to work harder and more successfully than you. It all gets worked out using a complicated government formula based on fairness.
That short sighted selfishness has lead a good country like Cuba, for example, to an early end. Cuba is operated by a totalitarian dictator who's legacy appears to be only one lifetime long.
Fidel Castro is effectively the Government there.
He operates the commerce system, the currency, the banks, the auto dealers, farming and manufacturing and he even suggests uniform outfits so everybody looks the same and gets treated fairly.

Anyway, Helmer was downtown one day and saw a new breakfast cereal box setting up in the store window of Red Tenor's General Store Tavern and Pool Hall.

"Snap Crackle Pop Rice Krispies!" WOW! Just pour on some milk and sit back and listen to the wonderment from Battle Creek Michigan. When it settles down some you can put a spoon of sugar on it to really make it good.

Now, in the beginning, early runs of the product would over heat or sometimes during shift changes at the plant some of the Rice Krispies kernels would get stuck in the oven for two or three times as long as the recipe called for.
They would come out resembling ---well; they looked a lot like mouse droppings!
Think about it in your minds eye. An overdone single Rice Krispie sure does resemble the stuff you sometimes find out in the barn, or over at Crazy Aunt Clara's place in the kitchen cupboards.

Well Helmer's first box, wouldn't you know, had a trace portion of the overdone kind. Like I said earlier Helmer was thought to be kind of liberal. Which used to mean patient and thoughtful and polite and considerate of others. Someone who was willing to give new things a try. So he sat down with a pen and paper and wrote a respectful complaint and offered a solution to the problem.

Dear Kellogg Company
Rice Krispie Division
Battle Creek Michigan;

"I recently had the honor of trying the first box of your fine product sold in our community. I found the vast majority of it's contents to be of excellent quality and the promise of a "snap crackle and pop" presentation far exceeded anything the local vendor Red Tenor had advertised."

"We also understand that government FDA standards allow a certain minimum amount of of rodent excrement in every box of your very fine cereal product. We understand that and will expect it when purchasing another box of your product."

"We suggest and only ask if you would mind putting it in a separate container!"

One Kellogg Square,
P.O. Box 3599
Battle Creek, MI 49016
http://www.google.com/www.ricekrispies.com/


Please understand any similarity of our product or advertising slogans are coincidental and are in no way to be considered a positive or negative comment regarding our or their "very fine food product" GENERAL CHOW

RE: HOT DOG TRAVELER Meanwhile no new sightings or eyewitness accounts as the the whereabouts of the principle of this company, but rumor has it, all is not lost. Stay tuned.