ENLIGHTENMENT GUARANTEED FOR A BUCK.
I would set up a small canvas tent in some popular tourist town where a lot of people can be found walking around aimlessly with that wide open dull eyed stare that folks get when they have been on vacation a couple of days too long.
I would set up a makeshift throne inside by the back exit of the tent and then drape curtains here and there to direct the movements of the folks on their pilgrimage. I would then man the throne with some great sage of a guy with a grey beard and the wisdom of the ages in his eyes.
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I would do the carnival type barking at the door.
"GET YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT RIGHT HERE, STEP RIGHT UP, ENLIGHTENMENT, GUARANTEED FOR JUST A BUCK"
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Visualize now, if you will, a long line of folks with a single dollar bill held in their hand. Standing there in a long line they anxiously await their meeting with the elderly white haired scholar. They would receive, as the Norwegian barker at the door claimed, the great gift of "ENLIGHTENMENT" -------------GUARANTEED; FOR GODS SAKE IT'S GUARANTEED! --------- YEP, for only a buck!
A pall of silence occupies the semi-sacred space just inside the door. The compelling reverence is overwhelming. The Holy Man sits there seated in a lofty position on the sacred make shift plywood and velvet throne at the termination of the line. He holds a little red cedar shingle in his hand. The recently recruited devotee places his buck in a little hand tooled box, then kneels at the feet of the master.
The Omnipotent master then begins to very gently tap the applicant on the top of the head with the shingle. The process continues, the tapping turns to slapping, then to pounding, then to downright physical abuse. The pounding continues on the supplicants head with a little stick, growing progressively harder increasing the religious experience and the degree of instruction.
Till finally they "GET IT"
ENLIGHTENMENT THAT IS!
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How many people would go to the trouble to retrieve their tribute while receiving a strong whacking on top of the head from an old man with a shingle for a magic wand? Fearful of the mocking they would surely receive from the big long haired Norwegian barker at the door, they would get up from the Masters feet and run out the exit as fast as possible, embarrassed and a little hurt .
A little sign would be affixed to the exit door stating that they have just received this great insight simply by getting a "little common sense knocked into their heads."
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