Collected Ravings of Three American Mad Men

Reality Check Radio---------- "Can I help you?" asked the caller

Why do we have to have so much bullshit on TV and the Radio? Republicans own this and Democrats want control of that. Can't you guys go somewhere else!

Well yes, this is a well known dynamic.
Republicans indeed represent more of the ownership demographic and Democrats entitlement demographic.
Boiling it down to basics; when folks lived off the land they found refuge and commerce in the city. The city needed, rightly so, services for sanitation, transportation, war efforts etc.
Thus was born a political party known as Federalist representing such basics and carried the debt as part of it service to the cause.

The problem is when parts of the electorate began to realize it could vote for its own “special interests” and levy debt on the whole it began eating itself alive!
Watch Gangs of New York by Martin Scorsese for the basics better illuminated.

------Thanks for bringing up such a timely topic!

Reality Check----------- "Can I help You?

I wonder if in fact the “right” can’t help but prevail because it has the power of commerce. Yet many times in history the entitlement class set civilization back a couple of decades with their shortsightedness, World War One, WW ll, 1917 Russia, 1926 China, Cuba, Poland, Yugoslavia, to mention a few.
Government would do well to recall its primary role as law maker and enforcer. We all would be better served had the intent of law and decency been placed ahead of some "greater good" social engineering experiment like the last decades supposed entitlement program of single family housing for everyone! That fomented fraud on the world; packaging worthless contracts through our financial systems represented by our “loving” Republicans who with collaboration with the Democrats and federal bureaucrats put us back at least two decades. They squandered the future of our sons and daughters children for money and power.

More than that, even now, the powerful get to pick up all the pieces leaving people who would like to work for a living with no choice but to work for the government take government entitlements or work for large publicly held global capitalist corporations.

Yeah, Yeah, stick it up your ass!----MY PRODUCER SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU NOT TO READ YOUR REMARKS ON THE AIR-------Good Bye-----!

Reality Check------ What do you want to say?
Today is a good day to compare the stark differences between a free robust economy and a government operated one based on institutionalized class distinction. IE: A program for Indians, Islamics, Latinos, Blacks, the wealthy, the poor working class, white collar, blue collar, grey collar, no collar, and on and on. The Government of California, for example, has a plan for almost everyone! All, of course, based on leadership opinions of a very few very powerful benevolent souls who determine “fairness.”

Realty Check--------- can I help you?

Yeah, I wanted to know if anybody else has seen those airplanes up in the air that are spraying citizens with gas? It is supposed to turn your finger purple color if you are an alien from outer space and want to vote for free elections which helps get new stuff from our country and everything?
Reality Check------------do you have something to add?

Consider the 20th anniversary of the demolition of the Berlin wall. The “left” leaning “Democratic Labor Socialist Worker Party” fascist types on the east side of the Berlin wall still have yet to recover and prosper as the “free to think" and do what ever you damn well please people on the other side of the wall to the west.
Now we find ourselves concerned about rampant unchecked and unlawful capitalism grown huge, quite unlike private enterprise. This is as demonstrated by the guys we find ourselves in a life and death struggle with who think they might capture the world through the indoctrinated use of fear of man made "global warming."Instead of producing a cure they want to cap and trade in the sin rather than correct it. It is kind of like the old Catholic Church selling indulgences.
Good old George Bush said it best "a new world order" Great! Run by Bill Clinton in the UN I presume. Yippee were all going to die!

Reality Check---------What do you think?

Man, forget the airplanes, did any one see those twenty foot flying dinosaurs. I smashed my Pickup into the back of a Volvo station wagon carrying a family of Socialist Lesbian school teachers a little while ago. The government has them trained to dive bomb us free thinkers man.

Good Bye---------Hello you are live on---------- Reality Check Radio!


Please know that I do not find fundamental fault with the existence of either party, both have a valid role in our great experiment for free enterprise in the United States of America.
I am simply contrasting and comparing the inherent risk in hiring too many people into public service and publicly owned global capitalist corporations. Rather than trusting that individuals doing free commerce with one another generally find justice and cooperation in daily affairs when decisions and risk are spread across great numbers of diverse individuals.

Yeah well--------------I had a time understanding that dribble.

I continue to wonder what model do the left totalitarian type personalities draw their ambitions? Do they think they can somehow prosper in a totally closed system where a rise to power can only be accomplished by employing the most severe measures?

If they find it difficult to achieve success in an open system dedicated to a government that encourages individual achievement, contrasted to a system that only rewards the most violent and powerful ambition driven few and leaves the rest with a common sustenance but "equal and fair" portion.

Thanks for your call though --------------think it through
Hey are you still on the line?

Yes , the last part of your thought had a lot of crap dribbling out the end.

How did you get on the line?--------------- Are you still there?

Yes I am here---- I've been on hold since 9:23------ hold on a minute someone is at the door!

If you have selfish self serving friends as I do (who I am sending this transcript to) ask them how they intend to do well for themselves in a system designed to make everything uniform?
Personally, I want to be one of those who does not contribute anything because I know if I do it will cause global warming and also I will have to pay for the carbon dioxide I use for the extra effort. I think rich people should pay all the bills till they are completely broke or move to China then we can invade them and get their money again to live in peace fairly and equally as long as possible. I am not nor have a ever been a member of the communist party but I do really like their uniforms!

Reality Check---------- Can I help you?

Yes, Dennis Erickson here a SWINE Contributor!

Yes. are you ready?
I would like a gallon of General Chow to go!
We are on a very fine camping trip right now. Can you hear me?

IF YOU CAN HEAR ME I WOULD LIKE A GALLON OF GENERAL CHOW PLEASE!

Could you throw in some Greek olives and a bottle of Ketchup and some Jalapenos or Filipinos or whatever those hot pepper things filled with that cheese bullshit are called.



Hot Dog Traveller respectfully refuses to sponsor this portion of the program.

KEEP AN EYE OUT "FOR ALL THE LUCK"

This weeks SWINE REPORT was written
in part by a contributing author John Walthers


It was just after dawn, and already I stood there bare legged and knee deep in the fast running waters of the Madison River. I cursed my rubber waders that 'somehow' over the years had shrunk so small I could not pull them over my legs. Now, I was about to let go my first cast across this great fly fishing stream.

I was operating on a seven day license issued to me by the The Department of the Interior of the Government of United States of America! Additionally, I had in my possession a signed copy of a fly fishing bulletin written by a published author who is the oldest owner of a fly fishing shop and guide service near Yellowstone. This prized document authored by him describes just how a person goes about catching these particular types of "elusive trout." An arrow on the map indicated where I might find the best place to fish, and his signature gave me unimpeachable authority to be, right where I stood, this very moment!

For the record, I was also in possession of an expensive four page glossy photo and informational guide published by the Federal Government. I learned more intrigue however from the old timer than can be elaborated upon here! I was particularly excited about the prospect of fishing waters that are a secret only shared with very few especially privileged outside of the National Park Service, their families, certain volunteers, and "special personnel" assigned to keep the area clear of high brush and low branches that may hang up a fishing line from an amateurish back cast.

My special privilege? I am politically connected to those "in the know."

I delivered a brilliant double false cast in the dark and landed the fake fly at an exact spot, at the edge of the far bank of the Madison River. The water splashed high from the jump of a monster fish. I clumsily yarded back my line as hard as I could, and fell backwards into the cold clear morning water. I struggled to the shore, soaking wet from head to foot, and started retrieving line directly to my reel. I could tell by the wobble of my bait I had something on! I waited with eager regard.

I had hooked and landed the eye of a great rainbow trout! Judging from the size of the eyeball I estimated the fish to be at least 24 inches and probably bigger. I speculated it must be one of the renown migratory rainbows that return every year from the lakes downstream. They swim up to renew this great mysterious fishy world that we only get to watch with wonder.

By the time I finally returned to that particular spot on the river my seven day license had all but expired.

Later that week I fished the Firehole River near where the water cascades over cliffs to form a towering waterfall. I fished at every turn out for miles upstream to a place where the Nez Perce dumps into the Firehole. I have always been mindful of my back casts, but till the Firehole I had never worried about hooking up on a wandering buffalo!

I fished every little fluff of fake fly I could find. I knew I had the right foolery on my line this time for sure because, a natural fly swam up and immediately tried to mate with my floating fake fly. He may have been especially amorous and a bit careless after enduring such a long cold abstinance toward maturity. He made his way fully emerged to his intended. I know the feeling!

Anyway, I tied on every imaginable bait you can think of during my five days of fishing there. I tried Bead Heads, Woolly Buggers, Tied Down Caddis, Flying Caddis. I fished every Dun fly I owned, which is a considerable lot after bagging my limit from an inventory special "going out of business" sale at GI Joe's! I resorted to Hoppers at midday, streamers in the morning, McKenzie Specials just for a lark in the late afternoon. I even tied on my childhood special "Jackie Catch All" that I had not actually seen in years. I went deep into my fly box for an attractor fly I dubbed "Reefer Madness" which is actually tied with same. Mostly I use it to show off when people come to fish for Sea Run Cutthroats off my dock. I fished a fly that never misses known as "The Last Supper" and in all of that I never, ever got another strike!

On the last possible moment of the last day of my seven day fly fishing foray I appeared back at the Madison arrogantly self confident. I walked with great authority past the border post clearly labeled a "special area." Past this point you must have in your possession a license issued by the Federal Government of the United States of America. I was still legal, but just to be safe, I pinned my autographed map to my fishing vest.

I stumbled around women and children picnicking on blankets washing down granola bars with drinking water contained in plastic bottles filled from the "Bull Run" reservoir located in Portland, Oregon. I dodged fly lines being slung from uniformed Rangers plying their secret fishy distraction. I scrambled over piles of trimmed brush left from last weeks work conducted by representatives of the Federal Government of the United States of America.

I found my favorite old fishing hole from last week strangely absent the commotion as most of the fisherman "in the know" stood on boardwalks near the edge of the river and cast from promontory points set out at strategic locations. I of course had advanced experience having fished the place earlier in the week and didn't need the boardwalk.

Actually, I had not noticed the boardwalks that first early morning. Most likely due to the hour and amount of light that morning and lack of oxygen in my system having tried for a half hour to pull on too small of rubber waders. Good thing too, I would never have hooked that eye if I had taken the easy access areas maintained by the Government.

I jumped out on a flat dry island rock 'about a yard' from where I had waded before! It was an easy jump of about two feet or so from the shore!

With no false casts at all to get my distance I spanned the 12 foot to the opposite shore with ease. I immediately hooked a fish which I reeled in without much of a fight.

It must have gone six inches or so! I don't mean like six Alaskan inches, measured between the eyes. I mean the fish was just six inches long!

It would have been hard to have made an Alaskan measurement anyway since the fish had but one eye!

I would have returned the whole fish back into the river as is my policy and also that of the Government of the United States of America according to their literature and glossy photo hand outs but I had released the eye earlier that week.

This issue has been reluctantly sponsored by

"HOT DOG TRAVELLER"

We at the traveller reserve the right to withdraw our support of these articles if advanced notice is not given for unauthorized contributing writers. It has been speculated that the supposed contributing author named in the above title block is in fact a famous and successful dry fly fisherman from the Midwest and has in fact never fished the area's hinted at in this story!

Ancient wisdom from our otherwise oriental sponsor

"GENERAL CHOW"

What do you call a fish without eyes------fsh!

Reminding one and all to buy "General Chow" right now before something terrible befalls you.

You just never know for sure what the future may bring and we want our friends in America to have stores of our "very fine food product." Just in case central government stops loaning you money buy lots of "GENERAL CHOW" now!