The pigs and chickens could wait. Uncle Helmer was weary of the work it took to put the ham and eggs on the table. Tonight he would have biscuits and fresh salmon steak! A man would have to be crazy not to take time out for fishing on a cold clear autumn morning like this one.
In one motion, Helmer hitched up his wagon and his bib overalls, lashed down his gear, pulled himself up in the seat of the buck board and settled in for a snooze. His ole mule Ginny knew where they were headed; she'd already been up there a time or two. She pulled up, still far enough from the stream so as not to spook them fishy critters, and let old Helmer off.
By lantern light old Helmer rigged up his cane pole, took a long pull off his hip flask, then went clamoring over the wet slippery rocks down stream side to his favorite place in life. His "honey hole"
Through the darkness he could hear those big "son's of guns" jumping and splashing underneath an old willow bush that always hung over the fishing hole just across the other side of the stream.
Everything was ready. He let out a little line, set his drag, then sent out a time perfected cast that slipped his lure under that old willow bush and into the water with not so much as a splash. In a moment he'd have on a great big ocean going Chinook Salmon, so fresh it would be covered with sea lice, and as big as a man's leg and bright as a silver dollar.
Through the dark he felt his lure drift out of the pool. No fish; HUH!
So he cast again, then again and still another time, then again without so much as a bump.
Just past dawn a flock of ducks came winging by at water level. One of them slammed into his line and for a moment Helmer's pounding heart thought they were in business. Too bad Helmer hadn't brought his shotgun. A wild duck would go in the fry pan just about as well with the biscuits.
By now, the sun was steaming the rocks dry, but still no fish lay on the bank for Helmer's dinner. He's tried just about everything in his tackle box including his "Jackie Catch All" which is a modified 6" Silver Doctor tied with jack rabbit fur. He can't even hook up with the ultimate weapon, a lure Helmer named the "LAST SUPPER"
By late morning, Helmer became down right despondent, his interest wained until his eyes wandered onto a huge bull frog sunning himself there on a flat rock. "Frog Legs" Helmer thought as he took aim with a well chosen throwing stone. The frog made a quick leap toward the safety of the stream. Out of the blue, that poor old frog is caught in mid-air by a ravenous fifty pound Chinook Salmon, leaving nothing more than a splash, a swirl of water, and a fantastic idea in Helmer's mind. Them fish is feeding on frogs! Great big live five pound bull frogs!
For the next two hours Helmer stalked the marshes and back waters for a mile up and down the stream with no luck at finding another frog.
Now, almost defeated he spotted a six foot bull snake with a conspicuous struggling bulge in his throat. Helmer, knowing the ways of the snake, recognized that this bulge was potential bait for his fishing.
Helmer snuck up on the fat lazy snake and caught him easily. Then he began robbing that old snake of his helpless meal. That crafty old snake fought for all he was worth. It was a lot easier for him to catch a frog than it had been for Uncle Helmer but by Gawd he had his frog and he meant to keep it. Besides, it was nap time and no self respecting bull snake was going to let a drunken old fisherman like Helmer disturb him from his due. He spit and writhed and wiggled like snakes do and almost got away a time or two. By and By the frogs legs appeared and Helmer plucked that grateful frog from the snakes mouth.
That old snake was naturally quite furious, and he began to coil and strike like a rattler. Helmer feared soon he'd be bit by those blunt infectious teeth.
So, being the quick thinker that he was Helmer pulled that old hip flask from his hip pocket and filled that snakes mouth with some good body-warming brandy. Delighted with the treat the snake crawled off.
That left Helmer with the problem of how to tie a struggling live five pound bull frog to his line so that it could swim naturally across the stream and still not let the hooks hurt the frog, yet be exposed enough to set one of them into the jaw of one of those great big Chinook Salmons.
Just when he was coming up with the idea of using some green yarn and a half hitch he felt a strong tug on the pant leg of his overalls! He shook his leg loose from what at first seemed like a pesky bush. In a moment another tug almost pulled his britches clean off him.
He looked down and there was that drunken bull snake with another frog!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
ON LINES
AN ESSAY ON LINES.
On Democracy?
On the Republic?
On Manifest Destiny?
On Heritage?
On Liberty?
Or maybe my favorite On Self Reliance?
NO NO;-------- JUST ON LINES!
I carried in the groceries the other night not realizing that I was spilling out on the carpet a long white powdery line of laundry detergent from a broken box; bought cheap at the COSTCO.
I got out the vacuum cleaner and started sucking it all up till I felt faint, my heart was pounding, and my face turned red, then white, then blue.
I damn near passed out!
The whole time I was sucking up that white line I had been holding my breath!
My Uncle Helmer got him a job one time pulling the plow behind a tractor for a real nice fellow who owned a farm out on the great Dakota plains.
The land owner gave Helmer an incentive so he'd continue the boring task of plowing fields so vast that you could barely see the future end of the rows.
The land owner stashed little bottles of whisky, like you used to get on airplanes, at the end of every other run of the tractor rows.
By God, every morning those rows where straight and true. Then, by and by as the day wore on Helmer's mind would get to wandering, and his creativity would set in; at the expense of the straight line plow furrows that had characterized his earlier work.
Thank God for those wonderful folks with the uncluttered minds.
I drive along the highway and wonder about the simple genius of the white line painted there to my left. Everyone honors it. We are all very careful not to cross it.
The danger seems obvious if you don't follow simple common sense law.
The consequences can be terrible and are well known.
NOW IF you gave me a big can of paint and a brush you would find my paint all over the place. There would be paint in my hair, on my pants, in the bushes along the banks of a trout stream, in magazines and books, on the piano, on the screen of the TV, on my wife and kids. There would be Jackson Pollock like paint all across my entire imaginary landscape.
Yet, I drive down the highway minding my own business with the white line marking terrible danger just to my left and I am remain relatively safe. I am mindful of what might be if I drift too far, too long, over the line.
It is for those, with the uncluttered minds, that draw those lines, whom I am utterly and eternally grateful. Seems obvious to me.
Waiting in lines so that you are sure you get your fair share of what's left, while less and less people are working to produce what the others are waiting in line for seems------- well------- "over the line".
Of course, if the "good people" of Government "promise" to produce the goods and services and run the line too, well, everything should be just fine.
Don't hold your breath.
Breaking news!
Our sponsor warns us that if customers don't quickly pay attention to what's obvious the government is going to nationalize General Chow!
More at 11:00 or go online now for the straight dope.
On Democracy?
On the Republic?
On Manifest Destiny?
On Heritage?
On Liberty?
Or maybe my favorite On Self Reliance?
NO NO;-------- JUST ON LINES!
I carried in the groceries the other night not realizing that I was spilling out on the carpet a long white powdery line of laundry detergent from a broken box; bought cheap at the COSTCO.
I got out the vacuum cleaner and started sucking it all up till I felt faint, my heart was pounding, and my face turned red, then white, then blue.
I damn near passed out!
The whole time I was sucking up that white line I had been holding my breath!
My Uncle Helmer got him a job one time pulling the plow behind a tractor for a real nice fellow who owned a farm out on the great Dakota plains.
The land owner gave Helmer an incentive so he'd continue the boring task of plowing fields so vast that you could barely see the future end of the rows.
The land owner stashed little bottles of whisky, like you used to get on airplanes, at the end of every other run of the tractor rows.
By God, every morning those rows where straight and true. Then, by and by as the day wore on Helmer's mind would get to wandering, and his creativity would set in; at the expense of the straight line plow furrows that had characterized his earlier work.
Thank God for those wonderful folks with the uncluttered minds.
I drive along the highway and wonder about the simple genius of the white line painted there to my left. Everyone honors it. We are all very careful not to cross it.
The danger seems obvious if you don't follow simple common sense law.
The consequences can be terrible and are well known.
NOW IF you gave me a big can of paint and a brush you would find my paint all over the place. There would be paint in my hair, on my pants, in the bushes along the banks of a trout stream, in magazines and books, on the piano, on the screen of the TV, on my wife and kids. There would be Jackson Pollock like paint all across my entire imaginary landscape.
Yet, I drive down the highway minding my own business with the white line marking terrible danger just to my left and I am remain relatively safe. I am mindful of what might be if I drift too far, too long, over the line.
It is for those, with the uncluttered minds, that draw those lines, whom I am utterly and eternally grateful. Seems obvious to me.
Waiting in lines so that you are sure you get your fair share of what's left, while less and less people are working to produce what the others are waiting in line for seems------- well------- "over the line".
Of course, if the "good people" of Government "promise" to produce the goods and services and run the line too, well, everything should be just fine.
Don't hold your breath.
Breaking news!
Our sponsor warns us that if customers don't quickly pay attention to what's obvious the government is going to nationalize General Chow!
More at 11:00 or go online now for the straight dope.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
COLLECTION AND REDEMPTION
During the Great Depression many people turned to church going to help save themselves from total ruin. My Uncle Helmer did too! Uncle Helmer entertained his own salvation at two churches in the neighborhood.
The Lutherans and the Presbyterians would pass a collection plate every week and Helmer didn't want to show any particular partiality to either party. After all, a lot of his family were members of one or the other church and he had heard that Jesus himself had saved more with protestants than anywhere else.
Occasionally Helmer would have a particularly good week down at the pool hall and when he did he would deposit a large part of his earnings into the collection plates there.
First Church services for the Presbyterians was at 7:00 o'clock sharp! Being the pragmatic hard working group they are so there too was Helmer practicing faithfully collection and redemption.
Then at 9:00 o'clock he would casually walk over and make the transformation to the membership of the more progressive Lutherans, where he would make another donation into the collection plate. After hearing both regular sermons delivered he found himself quite informed as to each churches view of the other.
Then as the month wore on, and ration stamps had been exhausted, and no WPA government workers came into the pool hall from the make work projects to spend their money foolishly like they were supposed to on gambling and such, Helmer would go back to the churches and redeem part of the proceeds as he saw fit from his earlier deposits! Thereby fulfilling his obligation made to each faith and most importantly to his own.
This week we enjoy continued sponsorship from HOT DOG TRAVELER
Barbecued dog and bun with chili is as easy as turning open a lid!
Remember you can even stuff a load of General Chow in one of these deals!
The Lutherans and the Presbyterians would pass a collection plate every week and Helmer didn't want to show any particular partiality to either party. After all, a lot of his family were members of one or the other church and he had heard that Jesus himself had saved more with protestants than anywhere else.
Occasionally Helmer would have a particularly good week down at the pool hall and when he did he would deposit a large part of his earnings into the collection plates there.
First Church services for the Presbyterians was at 7:00 o'clock sharp! Being the pragmatic hard working group they are so there too was Helmer practicing faithfully collection and redemption.
Then at 9:00 o'clock he would casually walk over and make the transformation to the membership of the more progressive Lutherans, where he would make another donation into the collection plate. After hearing both regular sermons delivered he found himself quite informed as to each churches view of the other.
Then as the month wore on, and ration stamps had been exhausted, and no WPA government workers came into the pool hall from the make work projects to spend their money foolishly like they were supposed to on gambling and such, Helmer would go back to the churches and redeem part of the proceeds as he saw fit from his earlier deposits! Thereby fulfilling his obligation made to each faith and most importantly to his own.
This week we enjoy continued sponsorship from HOT DOG TRAVELER
Barbecued dog and bun with chili is as easy as turning open a lid!
Remember you can even stuff a load of General Chow in one of these deals!
We are asking all of you to be mindful for that which is always truly prosperous. Donate as much as you can to the "FOOD FOR THOUGHT" program being conducted in your own neighborhood.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
THE SWEET JOYS OF THIS HERE LIFE
The real joy of life is in it's pursuit.
Watch the children in autumn chasing leaves across the lawn.
The wind whirls and their hearts soar.
When their hands are full it's over!
I love the pursuit of life.
This little missive brought to you by our sponsor
HOT DOG TRAVELER
who has this to say
BE FIRST HUMAN
FOR HUMAN BEINGS ARE THE SPLENDID BLOSSOMS OF GOD'S PARADISE
REJOICE IN EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE
FOR THE BLOSSOM IS SHORT LIVED IN THE WHOLE OF IT ALL.
This additional thought by our very fine sponsor
GENERAL CHOW
LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE DO
WATCH WHAT PEOPLE SAY
THE HEART SEES CLEARLY
WHAT IS INVISIBLE TO THE EYE
Watch the children in autumn chasing leaves across the lawn.
The wind whirls and their hearts soar.
When their hands are full it's over!
I love the pursuit of life.
This little missive brought to you by our sponsor
HOT DOG TRAVELER
who has this to say
BE FIRST HUMAN
FOR HUMAN BEINGS ARE THE SPLENDID BLOSSOMS OF GOD'S PARADISE
REJOICE IN EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE
FOR THE BLOSSOM IS SHORT LIVED IN THE WHOLE OF IT ALL.
This additional thought by our very fine sponsor
GENERAL CHOW
LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE DO
WATCH WHAT PEOPLE SAY
THE HEART SEES CLEARLY
WHAT IS INVISIBLE TO THE EYE
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Pelosi Tribe joins the Yuri Nation
Back in Uncle Helmers time during the last Great Depression, Helmer and a couple of other enterprising young men went out to the Indian reservation in the Dakota's to do some dickering with the Chief of the Indian Nation.
The idea was that the Indians had a pretty fair stretch of fallow land that could stand a few head of grazing cattle.
They had in mind to sell the Indians a big prize winning bull and some fertile calf bearing cows on time payments.
They could get back more money with the interest gained, plus the original cost of the cattle, and a fair profit for their time and ingenuity.That way, earning a profit for themselves, and at the same time, do something real nice for the Indian population as well.
They explained that the bull could service the few cows pasturing there on the reservation and after a gestation period calves would be birthed and the herd would be nearly twice as big! They would have milk for the little ones and an occasional steak barbecue for tribal celebrations.
Of course they warned, it would be hard work at first, especially in winters, but as the years went by the herd would increase. With profits from the sale of some cattle, shelters would emerge, barns could be raised, and homes could be built, and life would be much easier and filled with a sense of independence and pride as it once was.
They went on to caution there would be set backs along the way, but by and by the original investment of time and money would grow to the point where
"his people really would not have to do that much".
The Indian chief shook his head and rejected out of hand my Uncle Helmers proposal immediately with the words, "WE DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH NOW"
So here we go again!
Pelosi is going to try to piss away another great segment of the United States of America. The Urination of American federated commerce.
THE END!
PS:Meet the Press had Barney Frank on this morning and the best thing he said was; He doesn't think the American people "hold their leaders up to a high enough standard"! Once again I say the citizens of any country that allows for free elections gets the kind of government it deserves.
This little bit of thinking has been brought to you by our sponsors who we thank for contributing to the
"Food for thought" program through out the world.
GENERAL CHOW----great for everything a struggling economy could possible want. Just pack a batch for the extended "camping trips" you may find yourself on in the coming years.
HOT DOG TRAVELLER----- Be sure to pack for the game a little bit of home.
The idea was that the Indians had a pretty fair stretch of fallow land that could stand a few head of grazing cattle.
They had in mind to sell the Indians a big prize winning bull and some fertile calf bearing cows on time payments.
They could get back more money with the interest gained, plus the original cost of the cattle, and a fair profit for their time and ingenuity.That way, earning a profit for themselves, and at the same time, do something real nice for the Indian population as well.
They explained that the bull could service the few cows pasturing there on the reservation and after a gestation period calves would be birthed and the herd would be nearly twice as big! They would have milk for the little ones and an occasional steak barbecue for tribal celebrations.
Of course they warned, it would be hard work at first, especially in winters, but as the years went by the herd would increase. With profits from the sale of some cattle, shelters would emerge, barns could be raised, and homes could be built, and life would be much easier and filled with a sense of independence and pride as it once was.
They went on to caution there would be set backs along the way, but by and by the original investment of time and money would grow to the point where
"his people really would not have to do that much".
The Indian chief shook his head and rejected out of hand my Uncle Helmers proposal immediately with the words, "WE DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH NOW"
So here we go again!
Pelosi is going to try to piss away another great segment of the United States of America. The Urination of American federated commerce.
THE END!
PS:Meet the Press had Barney Frank on this morning and the best thing he said was; He doesn't think the American people "hold their leaders up to a high enough standard"! Once again I say the citizens of any country that allows for free elections gets the kind of government it deserves.
This little bit of thinking has been brought to you by our sponsors who we thank for contributing to the
"Food for thought" program through out the world.
GENERAL CHOW----great for everything a struggling economy could possible want. Just pack a batch for the extended "camping trips" you may find yourself on in the coming years.
HOT DOG TRAVELLER----- Be sure to pack for the game a little bit of home.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
OBAMA BLACK SHEEP WHERES THE WOOL ALL COMING FROM?
Bah, Bah, Black Sheep
Bah, bah, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.
Bah, bah, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.
Bah, bah, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.
Bah, bah, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.
NO NO THIS IS NOT A RACIST REMARK
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK IT IS:
PLEASE READ AND TRY TO COMPREHEND THE GREAT SPEECH MARTIN LUTHER KING MADE REGARDING THE JUDGMENT OF ONES CHARACTER RATHER THAN THE COLOR OF ONES SKIN!
No; this is a cute little nursery school rhyme we all know. The wording is kind of timely and catchy.
It has a point in it if we drop for a moment our prejudice and try to discover a deeper meaning!
Yesterday afternoon my new friend and President Barrack Obama threw a little hissy fit when he didn't get 100 percent cooperation from the Senate on the spending bill which has now escalated to about twice the cost of both Iraq wars plus about ten months of Federal spending under the former Bush Administration. Bottom line, rounded down, around 10% of what the United States of America produces in total for a year will be the size of this "stimulus bill".
He raised his voice in frustration at those in the Senate who want to take a little time to examine some of the excesses in the bill.
Obama mocked the voices of restraint with this comment;
"So then you get the argument, 'well, this is not a stimulus bill, this is a spending bill.' What do you think a stimulus is? That's the whole point," Obama said to laughter.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK IT IS:
PLEASE READ AND TRY TO COMPREHEND THE GREAT SPEECH MARTIN LUTHER KING MADE REGARDING THE JUDGMENT OF ONES CHARACTER RATHER THAN THE COLOR OF ONES SKIN!
No; this is a cute little nursery school rhyme we all know. The wording is kind of timely and catchy.
It has a point in it if we drop for a moment our prejudice and try to discover a deeper meaning!
Yesterday afternoon my new friend and President Barrack Obama threw a little hissy fit when he didn't get 100 percent cooperation from the Senate on the spending bill which has now escalated to about twice the cost of both Iraq wars plus about ten months of Federal spending under the former Bush Administration. Bottom line, rounded down, around 10% of what the United States of America produces in total for a year will be the size of this "stimulus bill".
He raised his voice in frustration at those in the Senate who want to take a little time to examine some of the excesses in the bill.
Obama mocked the voices of restraint with this comment;
"So then you get the argument, 'well, this is not a stimulus bill, this is a spending bill.' What do you think a stimulus is? That's the whole point," Obama said to laughter.
WHAT HEY WAIT JUST A MINUTE
Obama went on to say he was tired of hearing "the same old tired" excuses and asked a flock of followers over in Virginia if they weren't tired too.
Well, being a responsible member of a self governing republic is a bit tiring and frustrating Barrack, but it beats the alternative!
SOME OPEN QUESTIONS
When Obama promised change did he mean we don't have to think anymore?
Can we really get out of the economic holding pattern by spending even more than Bush did?
Would we not be better off if we stimulated the economy with capital investments for our future?
Are not work projects that build better transportation systems, better buildings, and better machines , factories, etc, better than just printing money to hand out to nearly everybody in the United States America to pay off our excess credit card debts?
Did you think when Obama promised a change it was supposed to be for the better.
Do you think handing back devalued money to Americans to spend without investment in real value based work is better than just senseless spending?
I NEED AN ANSWER TO THESE THINGS
This blog was brought to you by our sponsor
GENERAL CHOW who would like to remind you when you get your Government bail out money please buy a can or two of this very fine food product.
Money spent for any reason but investment in GENERAL CHOW can not possibly be as good . Do not spend your money--spend the governments----yeah--- do it now --quick without thinking. Do it now!
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